“Pick it up, pick it all up
And start again
You’ve got a second chance…”
She finds herself on the floor again, this time in the kitchen. She slowly gets up, clasping her arm where she hit the shelf on the way down. She can’t recall how this time began, but she knows it has been 75 days since her last fall.
She was hoping for 90 days – a celebration.
She is me, and today I begin yet again. It is always a good day to begin. This blog is my commitment to sharing my experiences with disability, with medical retirement, with the ongoing struggles of being Lauri Jean – and the beauty inherent in that process.
“Pick it up, pick it all up, and start again, you’ve got a second chance… it’s only medicine.”
Art soothes me in ways I can’t express except in the line of it. Those strokes, no longer steady, create balance within me. I gave it up for a long time. I was stuck in a loop of identify with what I could no longer do, and still trying to do it. Frustration. Anger. Pain. Then I decided to let it go, to focus on what I can do.
“You could still be what you want to…”
Therein lies the hope. Therein lies the struggle.
I choose hope, followed by action. I may have fallen today, but I got back up and in my mind I did it with grace, purpose and a heart full of joy. In my soul, in that moment I was dancing and the frustration, the pain, the anger just melted away. So today, if you feel fallen – remember this:
“You’ve got a warm heart, you’ve got a beautiful brain… pick it up, pick it all up, and start again. You’ve got a second chance…”
(and check out this dance film set to Daughter‘s song. It’s good medicine.)